Keep Your Opinions To Yourself

Humans are opinionated beings. If I asked you which is better…blonde or brunette, boxers or briefs, wax it off or let it grow…or any other life changing decision, you’d probably be able to answer quite easily. Furthermore, you’d be able to justify why your answer is the “correct” one. Now, I am no expert on the evolution of the human brain but I am guessing there once was a survival advantage to determining good from bad, right from wrong. Knowing that these berries were yummy and those give you the runs or knowing that giraffes are harmless whereas lions may eat you probably helped you to be successful in, well…staying alive.

However is it a benefit to have an opinion on everything including the correct way arrange the cutlery in the top drawer (spoons, forks, knifes, from left to right, isn’t it?) to whether you should invest in property or shares? Furthermore, is it to your benefit to announce your opinions to every living being with two ears and a spare moment of their time?

Sharing an opinion that contradicts or belittles another suggests that you are right, thus they are wrong. Or even if you don’t mean this…this is often how it is heard. How do we react to being told we are wrong? With some form of resistance. Maybe an argument will ensue, or some form or avoidance. Picture this. Someone chooses to share with you that they are really annoyed how their boss is speaking to them and you tell them they should stand up to their boss (your opinion) rather than simply listening to the person gripe. This isn’t empowering at all to this person and they are going to feel less comfortable about sharing in the future, especially about this issue. Next time to boss is a prick they will bitch to a friend instead.

But Adam! My opinion must be right! Everyone agrees with me! All my friends agree, so do my work mates, my Dr Phil self help book and the lady who sells me my morning croissant! In response I say, a majority doesn’t mean something is correct. The majority of the world used to believe the world was flat. Plus, ask a psychologist and they will tell you that we tend to surround ourselves with friends and groups that agree with us because it makes us feel better about ourselves. There quite possibly may be a group just as large as yours that disagree with you, they are hanging elsewhere.

So what I am saying is each time you are about to share an opinion for the greater good of someone, the effect may be someone draws away from you or feels less comfortable to share with you. Far from the desired effect of being adorned and cherished for being the all-knowing, wise Oracle. Perhaps next time someone has a different way of thinking you could take the time to understand why and learn a little more about the diversity of the world. That might be a better way to go….but that’s just my opinion.