Who Are You Talking To?

Modern Day Technology. The internet, mobiles, IPods. Bringing people closer together…or is it? Have you considered that although it is now easier than ever to communicate with people, it can also be responsible for increasing the inter-personal divide? I am always surprised when I see someone listening to their IPod on headphones comes to a counter and the worker behind a desk or counter asks something intrusive like, “How are you today?”How often have I seen that person have their day ruined (well that’s the scale of the disgruntled look on their face) when they have to remove their head phones and ask, “What did you say?”

That’s just one example of how technology that allows us to connect to the song or broadcast of someone while ignoring those standing in front of us. But if there is one piece of technology that brings people together at the same time as dividing them further apart, it would have to be the new organ of the human body, the essential… mobile phone. I must admit if I had the choice of loosing my wallet, my new Calibre jacket, my car keys or my mobile. I’d prefer you strip me naked and drive my car cross country, petrol courtesy of my credit card, before I would loose my beloved phone. However there is one possession I love more…the people in my life.
One of my favourite sayings is; “People don’t care how much you know till they know how much you care”. In other words people aren’t really interested in anything you have to say until they feel you are concerned about their well being. We all know that mobiles can be used to tell people we care but could they also have the opposite effect?

Anyone who grew up in the 80s or before should remember a time before mobiles. Remember how we arranged to catch up. You set up a time to meet somewhere and everyone showed up…at the allocated time. If you didn’t you missed out. You couldn’t SMS to tell them you had a wardrobe malfunction and running 25 minutes late. Showing up on time is one way simple way of showing to someone that they are important. Remember the last time you were left waiting? How did you feel? Disrespected? “If he knew how much I wanted to see this movie, he wouldn’t have been so late and made us miss the first 10 minutes”!

Another example. How many times have you been in a social situation and seen someone on their phone. What type of message does that portray? The same as if you were talking to me and I walked over to say Hi to a friend while you were mid-sentence. That there is something more important than you.

Other examples you may have observed in public include listening to someone yelling down a mobile phone about how trashed they were last night or having Lady Gaga’s latest tune start blasting from a mobile in the middle of a movie (not that there is anything wrong with Lady Gaga). In fact, an Internet survey involving 4955 votes, undertaken by CellManners.com (2001), showed 53% of votes agreed that mobile phones should be banned in restaurants, churches, public transit, performances and libraries.

So in future try speaking quietly rather than shouting, let a call divert to message bank if in the company of others and find a private place to talk if around a group of people. Constantly being on your phone doesn’t make you a socialite or important. It makes you someone who spends their life trying to please people you are not with at the expense of the people who actually care enough to spend time with you (for now).